Separation
by suitsfan
Summary: Harvey and Mike get a divorce. Written for suits meme on LJ.


They were in the middle of yet another argument. That's all they seemed to do any more. Argue about anything, everything. Long, drawn out arguments that would go on until they couldn't even remember what the hell they were fighting about in the first place.

Harvey and Mike had always had their little fights, all couples do, but there used to be resolution to them. There wasn't even that any more. It was fight, say hurtful things, and then pretend it never happened. Repeat. Harvey might be able to live that way, but Mike couldn't. Not any more. It was too much. It was too hard. He needed out.

"I want a divorce," he said in the middle of one of their latest fight.

The anger Harvey had been feeling, the point that was so important that he had to make it, had to let Mike know he was right, it had all disappeared upon hearing those words. Instead it was replaced by the feeling of his heart free-falling into the pit of his stomach.

"What?" Harvey asked, needing to hear it a second time to make sure he hadn't imagined it.

"I want a divorce, Harvey."

Hearing it for a second time was somehow worse than the initial time.

"Why?"

"Why?" Mike asked, laughing sardonically. "Look at us, Harvey. Look at what we are. Look at what we constantly do to each other. Do you think any of this is normal?"

"And divorce is your solution to all of this?"

"You told me once that if I wanted out all I had to do was tap out. Well, I'm tapping out."

"I was talking about your fucking job when I said that, Mike. Not our god damn marriage!" Harvey shouted angrily.

"Harvey.."

"Fine. You're tapping out, then so am I. You can have your divorce," Harvey said, before walking away.

Mike slouched his shoulders in defeat, as he watched Harvey walk away, because even though this is what he wanted, it's not what he really wanted. What he wanted was for Harvey and him to have worked together.

Mike didn't believe in love at first sight, love at first sight is something that only happens for the sake of cheesy movies. However, the first time he met Harvey Specter, he had felt something. That kind of feeling like you've known the person forever, despite having never met them before in your life.

Despite the intangible chemistry they had, it took a long time for either of them to act upon it. Harvey had told Mike once that he never made a move because of interoffice relationships being frowned upon, but really, Mike thinks he was just scared. Harvey had spent god knows how many years building those walls around his heart, and developing and perfecting his I don't care facade, so it scared him when Mike came along and could render those walls useless without even trying, and see right through his I don't care act. Harvey would never admit that though.

And that's the thing with Harvey, he is who he is. Which Mike realizes how entirely stupid that sounds, of course he is who he is, but Mike made the mistake in thinking he could change Harvey. That he could change those little habits and quirks, and personality traits that Harvey had that he absolutely hated.

Like the way Harvey would flirt with everyone in sight, even after being married. Mike knew he would never take it any further than flirting, because of all things, Harvey was loyal. However, Harvey's loyalty didn't stop Mike from feeling like he just wasn't enough for Harvey. Like Harvey needed or wanted something more than Mike. Harvey had laughed off these concerns when Mike confronted him with them, told him that he was being ridiculous. Mike was just looking for assurance, to be told he is enough, more than enough, not to be laughed at and told he's ridiculous for thinking that way.

That, among a laundry list of other reasons, is why Mike had thought it best that they divorce. Get out now and maybe they'd still be able to salvage their friendship. That's what Mike hoped for anyway.

"Where are you going?" Mike asked when he saw Harvey heading towards the door with his coat in hand.

"Out."

"Harvey, I can leave if you want me to. This is your place after all."

"Funny, up until today I thought it was _our_ place."

"Harvey, don't you think we should maybe talk about this?"

"You want a divorce. I think that about says everything that needs to be said, don't you think?" Harvey said coldly as he slammed the door shut behind him on the way out.

Harvey was practically shoving his way past her, and into her apartment the second she had opened the door to him.

"Mike wants a divorce," he said, his voice had a tone to it that Donna couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Wait what..Mike wants a what now?" Donna said, trying her best to sound completely surprised, despite only being partially surprised. Fact is, Mike had went to Donna a month ago, upset and crying, throwing around the divorce word. She had listened to all his worries, and concerns, and she can't say she didn't understand where Mike was coming from, she of all people knew how Harvey could be.

"He told me he wants a divorce."

"Sit down, Harvey. Let me get you something to drink," Donna said. Harvey sat.

"What are you going to do?" Donna asked, handing him a glass of water and sitting down next to him on the couch.

"I don't know.. maybe you could talk to him for me?"

"And say what exactly?"

"I don't know, just convince him not to. I don't feel like losing half of my shit to him."

"My god, Harvey. Is this what this is about? You're scared of losing your _stuff_ to him?"

"I worked my ass off for everything I have, I have a right to be worried."

"You should be worried about losing _Mike_, not your _things_. Things and money are replaceable, Harvey. People aren't. Do you even give a damn about that kid?"

"Of course. I'm not the one who asked for the damned divorce. I was happy with how we were."

"You were happy fighting with Mike all the time?"

"No. And wait, how do you even know we fought?"

Donna's eyes shot to the floor, realizing she'd said too much. "I didn't, I just.."

"Did you know about him wanting to divorce me?"

"Harvey.."

"Jesus, Donna. How long has he been wanting to? How long have you known?"

"It's not like that, Mike just came to me, he needed somebody to talk to."

"That's bullshit. He had _me_ to talk to!" Harvey said, raising his voice.

"When should he have talked to you? When you were burying the kid so damn deep in work just so you could go off and flirt with other people?"

"It's harmless flirting. I never cheated on him," Harvey said defensively.

"How could you be with Mike that long and not understand that it's not harmless to him?"

"How long did you know that he wanted a divorce?" Harvey asked again, choosing to divert the subject back to his original question.

"What does it matter?"

"Just answer the god damn question!" Harvey yelled.

"He first mentioned it to me about a month ago," she said softly.

"You knew for an entire _month_ and didn't bother saying a damn word to me? I guess loyalty means nothing to you," Harvey said as he got up off of the couch.

"I was only trying to help!"

"Yeah, well you did a real bang up job at that. Thanks for nothing," Harvey said on his way out, slamming her apartment door behind him.

Harvey had driven to the nearest bar. He ordered something strong from the top shelf and started knocking them back, one by one.

When Mike first walked into Harvey's life, spilling a briefcase of pot all over the floor, Harvey couldn't help but find himself drawn to Mike. At first it was a pure physical attraction, all Harvey did for the first few months of knowing Mike was fantasize about taking him home and fucking his brains out. Of course, that wasn't plausible, because Mike was his associate first of all, and secondly it'd be completely wrong just based on the fact that he could tell Mike felt something more for him than what he was feeling for him at the time.

However, as time progressed Harvey found himself actually caring about Mike, as a person, not just caring about the work he did, and not just caring about the impression Mike would make on potential client's, but just Mike.

And Harvey hated it at first, hated thinking about him all the time. Hated waking up early mornings, checking the weather and arranging for a taxi to pick Mike up so he wouldn't have to ride his bike to work and risk getting sick in cold or rainy weather. He hated randomly walking to Mike's desk during work, pretending that he needed something from him when really he just wanted to check on Mike, make sure he was okay and nobody was giving him a hard time. He hated it, because that wasn't him. The caring. The feeling.

Harvey Specter didn't care. Harvey Specter didn't have feelings like this. And now he suddenly did, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with them.

Then Mike somehow convinced him to go on a date. Harvey may have been secretly hoping it went horribly, so he would have an out in all of this, but it went wonderfully, and it was one of the best nights of Harvey's life to this very day. They didn't go to a fancy Five Star restaurant. They went to some small Mom and Pop diner that Mike had picked out, and maybe Harvey liked it off the bat because of how Mike's blue eyes widened with excitement when he talked about it.

And they had sat there in that diner, eating food that tasted like a few extra trips to the gym, and talking, for hours and hours. And man, Mike could make Harvey laugh. Not just those little lawyer-y chuckles that Harvey handed out freely, but the throw your head back and laugh until there are tears in your eyes kind of laughter. The kind that makes you feel good from the inside out. Not many people in Harvey's life have ever made him do that.

"I like you like this," Mike said to him outside of the diner as they were walking to the car.

"Like me like what?" Harvey asked.

"Smiling, laughing. Just happy," Mike replied.

Only then Harvey realized that he had unknowingly had a smile plastered on his face the entire time they were walking back to the car.

Harvey had Ray drive them back to Mike's apartment, and Harvey walked him to his apartment door, and that's where Harvey kissed Mike for the first time. And it was amazing, Mike's mouth tasted sweet, like candy, which could probably be attributed to the candy he had in his sundae back at the diner. Mike pulled away from his kiss, and breathlessly asked Harvey if he wanted to come inside. Of course he did.

"I can't, Mike. I have some work I have to get done before tomorrow morning," Harvey had lied.

He had declined, because Mike wasn't some random fuck, or some random bar floozy, he liked Mike. He cared, and sleeping with him on a first date didn't seem right. He knew Mike deserved better than that.

They went on a few more dates after that, and before they knew it they were an official couple, and Harvey was enjoying this, enjoying Mike too much to play the what if game, or analyze everything about their relationship. He just enjoyed it for what it was.

And he was an ideal boyfriend too. Flowers, candy, baking a cake on birthdays, soup when Mike was sick and just being there when Mike needed him. Helping him out, giving him advice. Whatever Mike needed he was there for him without fail.

When the time felt right, Harvey proposed, because that was the next step after all. And Mike was ecstatic. Their wedding was a small, intimate affair with a handful of people they cared about enough to invite. And things were smooth sailing after the wedding, almost perfect, for a little while, anyway. Turns out that was just the calm before the storm.

It started out small fights, usually work related, which, working at a law firm is stressful, it's to be expected. Then it snowballed into bigger fights about nothing in particular. Harvey would fight with Mike for leaving his clothes on the floor _next_ to the hamper, instead of_ inside_ the hamper. And it was stupid. Harvey knew it was stupid, but it was like he couldn't stop fighting until he had made Mike cry. And it's not like he ever felt like he'd won when he was done either, he just felt like a miserable, shitty human being, so he'd apologize to Mike the next morning, and Mike would forgive him, because that's the kind of person Mike was.

Harvey flirted a lot too, which is something Mike was forever on him about, and Harvey was pretty sure he did it half the time just to piss Mike off after he knew how much it bothered him, just to hurt him. With no reason, other than the fact that after he had married Mike, that wedding ring on his left finger suddenly felt like an anchor dragging him under. It was like he was trying to breathe underwater, and he couldn't fucking bear it anymore. He loved Mike, he really did, but he hated being married to him. He felt like he was being trapped in a life of domesticity.

It wasn't exactly something he could talk about either, because Mike would never understand it. Mike would say, give it time and Harvey didn't want to give it time. He just wanted the fuck out. Not out of the relationship, just out of the marriage, but if you were out of one, you were surely out of both. So he never brought it up, just treated Mike like he didn't deserve to be treated, maybe as a way to punish him for making Harvey fall for him so hard that he had ever proposed in the first place, as completely wrong as that was.

Harvey had considered bringing up divorce to Mike a few times, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. As much as he kept hurting Mike on a daily basis, he couldn't actually bring himself to go through with handing him divorce papers, or telling him that he wanted a divorce, didn't think he could handle the look on Mike's face.

So Harvey was truly caught off guard when Mike had been the one to ask for the divorce. And maybe that's why Harvey was had reacted so angrily towards him when he told him he wanted a divorce, because_ how dare_ Mike be the one to do something that Harvey hadn't had the balls to do himself.

So here he was now, sitting at the bar, halfway to drunk. He had hurt Mike, and now he had dragged Donna into this, yelling at her and belittling her for being there for Mike, when he knew how much Mike had probably needed somebody lately, and then blaming her for knowing something about a divorce that in the end was what Harvey wanted.

He felt like such a dick. Mike should divorce him and not just take half of what he has, he should take _everything_ he has, because Harvey was sure he didn't deserve to keep any of it. He deserved nothing and nobody.

Harvey was fully drunk by the time he'd stumbled back home. Mike must have been dozing off only to have the sound of the door wake him when Harvey walked through, because he was now sitting halfway up, rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

"Harvey?" he called out.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?" Harvey asked when he walked into the room.

"I wanted to make sure you got home okay. I tried calling your phone but it kept going to voice mail. I was worried about you."

"Nothing to worry about. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Harvey, can we talk about this?"

"We will, Mike. In the morning. Go get some sleep."

Mike looked satisfied enough with that answer, and headed down the hallway to bed. Harvey picked the tissues up off the couch that Mike left behind, a second confirmation to what Mike's red, puffy eyes had confirmed the moment Harvey saw him, that Mike had been crying. Harvey closed his eyes, and waited for sleep to come, he could use a few interrupted hours of not feeling.

He was greeted by the all too bright light shining through the kitchen window in the morning. Mike was leaning over the kitchen counter, looking over a bunch of papers he had sprawled out in front of him.

"Hey," he said, looking up when he noticed Harvey standing there. He grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and poured some orange juice in it. "Here," he said as he sat the glass down in front of Harvey, along with two Aspirin for the headache Mike was sure that he had.

"What's this?" Harvey asked.

"It's Aspirin. You have a headache, right?"

"You can't keep doing this, Mike."

"Doing what?"

"This," he said gesturing at the Aspirin and orange juice. "This being nice crap. You told me yesterday that you wanted a divorce, and then you waited up for me last night, and now you're giving me Aspirin. It's confusing to me to be honest."

"Well, what do you want me to do? Treat you like you just don't matter anymore? I can't do that. I can't be like you, Harvey."

"I don't want you to be like me."

"I guess I just don't understand what happened. We were so good, and you were, still are, one of the best things that's ever happened to me. But after we got married, it's like..I don't know, it feels like you started to resent me, and I don't understand what the hell I did so wrong to make you feel that way, and maybe if I did understand we could..I don't know, maybe still fix this."

And there it was, Mike was giving Harvey another chance, perhaps a last chance. Mike wanted to fix things, always wanted to fix things. But Harvey just wanted to go back to how it was before, and that option wasn't on the table. So now maybe he had to be the stubborn, selfish bastard most assumed he was.

Harvey walked up to Mike and placed a hand softly on the side of his face. "You never did anything wrong," he said as he looked Mike in the eyes. "But Mike, if you pull a gun on someone, you best damn have the guts to pull the trigger. I'll have my lawyer get in touch with you," Harvey said as he turned to walk away.

"No," Mike said, grabbing Harvey's arm and spinning him back around to face him.

"What the hell are you doing, Mike? And what do you mean no?"

"You don't get to treat this like it's one of your stupid fucking lessons about me needing to get thicker skin. You'll have your lawyer contact me? For what?_ For what_, Harvey? I don't want anything _from_ you. I don't want your money, I don't want your stupid fucking condo, I don't want your stupid cars, I only want you. You and just you Harvey. That's all I ever fucking wanted. But I was clearly just some fucking goal to you, like climbing some stupid corporate ladder. You dated me, slept with me, then you married me, and now because there's nothing left to do but just_ be together_, I'm not good enough any more. God Harvey, do you even know how bad you make me feel? Do you even care?" Mike tried to wipe away the tears that were spilling from his eyes now, but it was useless, they were coming too fast, and too many.

"Come here," Harvey said pulling Mike into his embrace. Mike cried hard into Harvey's chest, with his fists gripped tight around the fabric of Harvey's shirt, holding onto him for everything he was worth, not knowing when or even if he'd ever get the chance again.

"I never meant to hurt you," Harvey whispered, softly kissing Mike on the forehead before pulling away from him.

And then Harvey grabbed his jacket and walked out the door, leaving Mike standing there by himself, feeling like he'd just lost his best friend in the world. And he had, because Harvey ended up filing for divorce, and Mike didn't contest it, because Harvey had made it perfectly clear to him that Mike wasn't worth fighting for, things weren't worth fixing.

Things were never the same between them after that either. They'd only see each other at work or work related functions, and they only ever talked about work, and cases. No more banter, no more anything. Mike even started taking more work from Louis, just as a means to avoid Harvey as much as possible. That hurt Harvey, but hey, two could play that game, so Harvey made it a point to flirt with every man and or woman in front of Mike when they were working cases or at events for Pearson Hardman. Mike usually ignored it, played it cool while he was there in front of people, and then he'd go home and cry himself to sleep over it. Except playing it cool, and pretending not to care eventually got too hard to do anymore.

"Harvey..can we talk? In private?"

"Sure," Harvey said casually, "I'll be right back ladies," he followed up, winking back at them and smiling.

They went into one of the empty offices and Mike slammed the door behind them.

"Mike, could we make this quick, I really have to get back."

"Why do you hate me so much?" Mike asked, already sounding on the verge of tears.

"I don't hate you."

"Really? Then why the hell do you feel the need to flirt with everybody in front of me?"

"Last I checked flirting wasn't against the law."

"Don't you get how bad that hurts me?"

"You mean hurts you in the way that you taking work from Louis just to spite me, hurts me?"

"I don't do that to_ spite_ you Harvey, I do it because I can't fucking stand being around you after what happened, I do it because I need to overload myself with work so I'm not constantly thinking about you. Because it physically hurts my heart to be around you. I just miss you, and I'm so god damn sad and lonely without you. For someone who claimed that they never meant to hurt me, that's all you ever do anymore. I'm so fucking sick of it," Mike said as tears streamed down his face.

"I'm sorry that I can't be what you want me to be, Mike."

"You're not sorry about anything. That's your fucking problem, you have no remorse," Mike yelled as he shoved past Harvey.

Mike had gone straight to the office after that and cleaned everything out of his desk. And that would be the last time he ever stepped foot into Pearson Hardman.

Harvey was pounding on Mike's apartment door when he realized Mike hadn't shown up for work, and then finding out that his desk had also been cleared out.

"Mike! Open the god damned door!" he shouted against the door.

"What do you want, Harvey?" Mike said as he swung open the door.

"What the hell are you... are you high?" Harvey asked, noticing his bloodshot eyes.

"So what if I am? It's not any business of yours."

"You're supposed to be at work."

"In case you didn't get the memo, I quit."

"You can't just quit!"

"No, Harvey. I'm pretty sure you said I could tap out when it came to work. So consider this me tapping out. Tapping out from work, and tapping out from you. I'm done."

"Hey Mike..who's at the door?" a voice asked from inside the apartment.

"Really, Mike?_ Trevor_? That's what you want your life to be?"

"It's not the life I wanted, you took the one that I wanted away from me. This is all I have left, and it's all I'll ever be. So, please, just leave now."

"You're so much better than this, Mike."

That was the last thing Harvey said to Mike. Ever. Because they never saw each other after that. Mike went back to getting paid to cheat for people, and helping Trevor out when he needed help with whatever scheme he was running.

And Harvey, well, he went back to work, Jessica tried to get him to get another associate, but Harvey refused, threatening to quit if she made him get one. Harvey didn't want one, because nobody would ever be what Mike was, Mike wasn't replaceable, not just as an associate, but as a person. Unfortunately it had taken Harvey too long to realize that.


End file.
